Bronze mindreading: What’s inside that PM’s head?

This article is from the WLUFA Advocate January 2016 4.5.

Matt Thomas, WLUFA Communications Committee Social Media Manager & eResources Librarian.

In the wake of the Prime Ministerial Statue Kerfuffle, er, Project discussions, the WLUFA Communications Committee asked for ideas about what our second on-campus metallic politician could be thinking as he grips those puddle-filled chairs. (Read about the details). We received a good number of both thoughtful and fun submissions, but we’ve managed to select ten finalists as promised.

The ten, in no particular order, are :

1. “NATIONAL DREAM to LAURIER NIGHTMARE: I have a new dream since I was plunked down at Laurier. Instead of a National Dream of a railroad let’s railroad everyone at WLU into thinking that at least one of the following is true: (a) I want to be here (with Laurier); (b) These two chairs do not represent WLU’s future of death’s head and sickly child; (c) No one was under the influence when they made the decision to plop me here. Of course they weren’t. I made memorable decisions while under the influence. Here’s to being railroaded. Cheers to ‘inspiring lives’!”

2. “MY NEW NATIONAL DREAM: Get railroaded not loaded on the Presi-dent’s Home Brew. 100 proof Spinmeister. Cheers to inspiring lives!”

3. “Old Macdonald had two chairs/ E I E I O/And on those chairs, no one sat/ E I E I O/ With no CAS here/ And no STAFF there/ Here goes a CAS, there goes a STAFF/ Nowhere a CAS, or a STAFF/ Old Macdonald had two chairs/ E I E I O”

4. “Put Riel in jail! Hang ‘em up by the bookstraps! He’s almost as spir-ited as I am./ But he’s no old stock Canadian./ Hey, and while you’re at it, pass the bottle!/ Build the rail-road!/ Unite the nation (by sup-pressing difference)!/ And never, ever read graphic novels.”

5. “Do come sit for a moment and reveal how you intend to change the world.”

6. “So sorry, these chairs are reserved for my friends.”

7. “Be seated here, Wisdom, and, Perseverance, my steadfast companions!”

8. “Seats for the Newfoundland ob-servers”(Background: Newfoundland sent two observers, Ambrose Shea and Fred Carter to the 1864 Quebec Conference on Confederation.)

9. “No, my name is not Laurier, God-dammit.”

10. “Hic. I’m glad these chairs are here because otherwise I would fall down .”

The winner, as selected by a Laurier Staff Association – appointed
judge, is Entry #7, by Dr. Gerald Schaus, retired Laurier Classics professor.

winner pic draft2

(Gerald Schaus, Classics)

Congratulations on winning the LCBO gift certificate. Sir John A would be proud. And jealous.

The judge also wanted to mention Entry #5 and #6—submitted by Doreen Weise, Psychology, and Lawrence Howe, Math —for second and third place, respectively.

Although there’s no actual prize to honour that placing, these contestants have our permission to feel drunk with pride at this accomplishment.

nelson draft1 (cropped)
(Nelson Joannette, History)
And finally, the Communications Committee had a personal favourite: Entry #2 provided by Dr. Nelson Jo-annette, from the History Department .
Thanks to everyone for participating, and thanks to WLUSA and their judge for helping us with the contest!

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